If I’m the best-dressed person in the room, we’re all in trouble

So yesterday I shared a post on Facebook regarding baggy pants, and it led to me being called a liar, a racist and a homophobe. If you know me, you know about how absurd that is. I’m pretty tolerant of most people in general and am usually a pretty nice person (I won an award in the 8th grade for being so annoyingly nice). I had heard the story in the post before associating jail-time loving with baggy pants, so I thought it might be true. And since I stole the post from a black guy I know, I didn’t think it would seem racist to some white people.

But I digress.

Instead, I actually think I need to address many more issues I have with people’s style of dress. In the States my biggest peeves were boat shoes and crocs. Mostly because, like their Birkenstock predecessors, they just get grimey and nasty.

But Europe, oh lovely Europe, with your buildings older than my country. The beautiful architecture, the art, the history. You, Europe, have produced some of the greatest and worst fashion trends I have seen to date.

Let’s start with the pros and cons of skinny jeans. Pro: most people have to walk a good bit, and in places like Germany where showers pop up randomly, jeans that hug the leg and don’t drag on the wet ground. Con: some of you have taken the word “skinny” in skinny jeans to the extreme. I really can live the rest of my life without seeing the outline of your patatina, dear. The bottom line: if they cut off your circulation, you need to get a pair at least one size up.

Now, on to the hairstyles that seem to be wildly popular with the younger crowd. The varying assortment of colors I can live with. Not sure how many of you remember my summer of pink hair, but it was a fun and interesting time in which I learned a lot- mostly that guys think if you have an out of nature hair color you must be incredibly wild in the sack. However, the wide assortment of perpetually down-right UGLY hairstyles that I have found here have made me want to walk around with a pair of shears in my pocket. If you can’t style it responsibly, I’ll cut it off and give it to someone who would put it to better use. Seriously- there is one girl in the town where we live that basically parted her hair  just above her right ear and just shaved the rest of the right side off. First, while she isn’t the prettiest girl, I don’t think the hairstyle has done anything to take attention away from her face. Second, in order to maintain the hair falling over onto the left side of her head, she must maintain an awkward position in which her posture is stooped slightly forward and her head is cocked to the left side. If she keeps this hairstyle for too long she may be permanently deformed into the Quasimodo-like stance.

And one more thing- scarves. So chic and so functional. But it is SUMMER now. The temperatures were actually in the 70’s and low 80’s this week. Why are you people still wearing your scarves?????

I could probably go on, but I think I will leave it at this for now. I have met many fascinating people here so far and I don’t want to seem like all I can do is complain. I just needed to vent a little. I must say though, my teachers in the language class are always wearing something cute and they have quite normal haircuts. So I guess they are hope for the rest of the people I see out on the streets.

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